Gosh, two months gone already! Who would have thunk it? I feel like I’m still trying to get the hang on 2015, but also that it’s been around for a long time already. March is going to be particularly baffling, because we’ve been putting things in the diary for it since the beginning of January. So now it’s here, I feel like I’ve already had this month and am going straight into April. Like that feeling you get when you wake up on a Thursday morning and are confused all day because you thought it was Friday. You know?
I’ve been suffering from terrible Imposter Syndrome lately. One of those ‘inspiring’ quotes popped up on Twitter the other day, which was “the fear of failure is the fear of success”. Nope, sorry, that’s not true. The fear of failure is mostly the fear of failing, falling flat on your face and having everyone- Not laugh at you. Most people are too kind. But at least give a rueful “what did you expect?” shrug. Imposter Syndrome for me is made up partly of a lack of self-confidence (“I can’t do this”) and partly extreme self-consciousness (“Don’t draw attention in case people don’t like you”). Except things I have tried, I have managed to do – crochet, knitting, sewing, librarianing – and even if I’ve failed, no one has laughed. They have been kind and helpful and put me back on my feet. But Imposter Syndrome is insidious and convinces you not to do things, just in case. In case of what, I have no idea. Just generally ‘in case’.
Except this I can do. These things I am doing. In February, I finished 3 crochet projects (although one was later frogged), 2 weeks at Slimming World, used 3 patterns from my stash, and read at least 5 books. I also made a friend by email, which is a rare and lovely thing, and carried on with my ‘No Stash Acquired’ pledge (which was probably the hardest of all!)
For March, I want to finish a knitting project, send birthday cards and try some new recipes. The plan is to clear the decks a little and get myself straight for New Things. But to do that, some of the old needs to get done, including the finishing of a couple of nearly-done quilts. I think I’ve also decided that going straight into running is not for me, so I’m going to dig out my old Y-Plan DVD and start in the privacy of my own living room before venturing out.
So these things I can do. How is everyone else doing this month? February is always tough, I think. Hope everyone got through it in one piece!